Tips for couples on building unity between families during wedding planning


One of the beautiful things about couples getting married is the coming together of two families as one and seeing each side embrace the other as their own. If you speak to any bride and groom, you’ll soon realise that their wedding is as important for their families as it is for them and over the years, I’ve supported several couples navigate the territory of family dynamics when it comes to wedding planning. As a wedding specialist, part of my role is to offer advice to my couples on how best to ensure that this process is as smooth as possible because let’s face it, each family is unique in its own way with different families having their own quirks, history, traditions and oftentimes drama or feuds. That’s why it’s important to ensure that during the journey, couples are making each side comfortable with the other as early as possible so that all the celebrations are a genuine fusion of love between all. In this blog, I’ll share some of my top ways that’ll help brides and grooms bring their families together and have them saying “We are family!”

Host a pre meet/introduction event 

Once the engagement has fully sunk in and you’re ready to kick off wedding planning, try and arrange an introduction event for both families as soon as possible. Preferably in a neutral location or via video conferencing, this gives everyone good time to get to know each other before the wedding so there’s no awkward moments on the big day. You can play icebreaker games, grouping different members from each side together or share fun facts about both sides with each other. Plus it’s a great way to make people feel relaxed with one another and know who’s who. 

Communication is key

Keep both families in the know with the progress of things by touching base with them via a shared platform such as WhatsApp or private Facebook group. Some wedding websites also have a community hub function which allows you to send updates to family groups as well as allowing them to share updates/ videos or pictures. This way it’s easier to include everyone in the wedding planning process and also gear up excitement for the activities!

Assign joint tasks with both families 

Kill two birds with one stone by pairing members of each family together in order to sort out a task off your wedding to-do list. Not only does this bring them together and help your family and your partner’s family to bond before the wedding, it lightens the load from the things you need to do giving you one less thing to think about!

Ask for their opinions

Make them feel like part of the process by asking their opinions and seeking their advice. If there’s something you’re struggling with making a decision about or there’s a situation you’re not sure how to navigate, why not just ask for their input. It’ll make them feel valued and reduce any anxiety for you in decision making. Getting them involved in things like menu tastings or asking for special song requests to include in your playlist is an opportunity for you to get them involved.

Incorporate a special practice in the ceremony/reception 

Get creative and honour them by including a special practice or ritual into your wedding day such as getting parents from both sides to read vows committing to supporting the marriage during the ceremony or having a joint dance with siblings at the reception.

Express gratitude 

If possible, at the end of the night or the day after at brunch, have an intimate ‘Thank You’ moment with both families together where you thank them for their support and send you off with prayers/blessings. You can also get them to write thank you notes which they offer to each other.

As you can see with simple yet great ideas, you can bring both families together to share in the joy and intimacy of your wedding day and create special memories that will last a lifetime. By integrating the families together, you’ll be able form strong bonds and build solid foundations of unity, making the wedding day even more special and full of laughter.

For more information about how my team and I can support you to deliver a wedding that is bursting with love and unity, send us a message using the enquiry form and let’s set off in bringing purpose and vision to your big day! You can also have a look at some of our previous work from our portfolio here.

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